억울해요

2010-03-13T08:28:00.000-08:00

im learning

to balance smiles with pain

im learning

to get over the old and start with the new

im knowing

to start over

its finally

its ABOUT time

i RESTART this SHIT

cheers to my NEW life .

2010-02-07T23:14:00.001-08:00

to love some one
is to have them love you back
is to have to love them truely
is to look at them in the eyes knowing it will be forever
is to know that your happy with him/her♥

고독한 발렌타인

2010-02-03T02:33:00.000-08:00

wiil YOU be my Valentiines♥

고독한 발렌타인

2010-01-25T19:21:00.000-08:00

diidnt attend school

suddenly had a sudden craving for strawberry dipped chocolates

ii'm wiith my beloved sarah jiie right now..

mwarks..

love her so much

watching jennifers body

and waiting for mCdeliviery man to deliver our MCFluriiiee Oreo's

miss hiim so much

2010-01-24T23:36:00.001-08:00

나는 그것을 승인하고 결코 싶지 않았다
i never wanted to admit it

나는 우리가 이것 같이 끝내고 있었다는 것을 결코 생각하지 않았다
i never thought we were ending like this

그러나 나는 말하는 것을 얻었다
but i gotta say

나는 아직도 당신을 사랑한다
i still love you

영원히
forever

항상
always

나는
i do

나는 나가 오늘 무슨을 기억할 수 없다
i can't remember what i did today

나는 당신의 외침을 기다리고 있었다
i was waiting for your call

그리고 아무것도 하기 높은 쪽으로 끝나
and ended up doing nothing

나는 진짜로 나의 마음에서 당신을 놓친다
i really miss you and in my mind

나는 아직도 당신의 심상을 볼 수 있다
i can still see the images of you

사람들 미소를 모르는
those who doesn't know smiles

그리고 해 당신이 어떻게 인지 질문하는가?
and asks how are you doing?

낱말 " breakup" 아직도 생소하다
the word break up is still unfamiliar

이렇게 나는 그것에 관하여 아무것도를 말할 수 없었다
so i could not say anything about it

나는 분쇄에 대해 여전히 배우지 않았다
i still haven't learned about breaking up

그리고 무슨 슬픔이 의미하는 아직도 확실하지 않음
and still not sure what sadness means

비록 당신이 저를 당분간 남겨두더라도 아직도
still even if you leave me for now

나는 여전히 그것을 믿지 않을 것입니다
i still won't believe it

눈물은 나오지 않을 것입니다
Tears won't come out

비록 슬픈 노래 보다는 오히려 사기 같은 소리가 나더라도, 아직도
still, even if it sounds like a lie rather than a sad song

조금씩 아직도 나는 느낄 수 있다
still i can feel, little by little,

지금 나는, 처음인 나 짐작한다 울고 있다
now that i'm crying, i guess that's the begining

나는 이 실소 기억에 있는 그것, 당신 및 I를 다시 감고 싶다
i wanna rewind it, you and I in this laughing memory

저의 주위에 감싸는 외로움 및 나는 밤을 눈물에 잠겨 보낸다
the loneliness wrapping around me and i spend the night in tears

당신은 나의 마음에서 종일 오래 머무르고,
you have lingered in my mind all day and,

당신은 떠나고 나는 그것에 관하여 아무것도를 할 수 없었다
you've left and i can't do anything about it

지금 나는 당신을 붙잡고 싶다
now i want to catch you

그러나 지금 나는 당신이 아닌 경우에, 사랑할 수 없다
but now ii can't love , if it's not you

나는 나가 당신을 볼 때 놓친다, 당신은 후에 미소할 것입니다
i miss when i would look at you, and you would smile back

나가 알맞은 사람이 아니었다 는 사실은 나의 마음에, 아직도 오래 머무른다
the fact that i wasn't a decent person, still lingers on my mind

그리고 나는 그것을 후회하는 것을 계속한다
and i keep regretting that

그것이 이 다량을 아플 것이라는 점을 결코 알지 않아다
never knew it would hurt this much

결코 알지 말라
never know

먼저 의미한 무슨을 나가 알고 있던 경우에
if i knew what it meant earlier

시간을 다시 감으십시오
Rewind the time

이렇게 나는 할 수 있었다
so i could

당신을 제지하십시오
hold you back

그리고 당신을 간다 결코 시키지 말라
and never let you go

2010-01-24T23:10:00.000-08:00

나가 세계의 끝에 서 있을 때
when i was standing at the end of the world

그리고 경로를 볼 수 없었다
and couldn't see the path

나는 누군가를 필요로 했다
i needed someone

나가 암흑에서 덫을 놓을 때
when i was trapped in the darkness

그리고 빛을 볼 수 없었다
and couldn't see the light

나는 원조를 기다리고 있었다
I was waiting for the helping hand

당신은 당신이 세계에서 유일한 것살다는 것을 모를 것입니다
you wouldn't know that you are the only one in the world

세계 보다는 더 나은 단지 1개
only one more better than the world

나는 당신과 저를 위한 꿈을 믿는다
i believe dreams for you and me

당신은 나의 통풍이 좋은 일에 있는 긴 기다려진 비이다
you are the long waited rain in my draughty day

당신은 나의 심혼을 적시고 저에게 용기를 주었다
you soaked my heart and gave me courage

비행거리가 당신에 의하여 저에게 하고 다시 미소한다
you make me fly and smile again

나에게 팔 및 주기 들어오십시오
come into my arms and giving

조용히 행복 다만 샤워 후에 무지개 같이
happiness silently just like a rainbow after a shower

나는 사랑을 만들고 싶다
i wanna make a love

당신과 가진 이야기
Story with You

나는 도망쳤다는 것을 당신이 알아낼 때
when you found out that i ran away

아마 당신은
perhaps you were dissapointed

나는 돌아오는 용기가 있었다
i had courage to come back

당신이 거기 있었기 때문에
because you were there

당신은 나의 심혼에서 항상 인 것살이었다
you're the one thats always in my heart

고독한 밤
lonely night

그것은 끝없는 통풍이 나쁜 어두운 밤 이다
it is and endless and stuffy dark night

그들은 나가 혼자 운 일이다
those are the days when i cried alone

사람들의 사기에 있는 어두운 밤 도중
during the dark nights in the lies of the people

단지 나의 얕은 심혼만 누구가 아플 것입니다지
who would only hurt my shallow heart

그리고 나의 심혼에는 초안이 있고 있었다
and my heart was having a draught

그러나 그것은 좋다,
but that is okay,

당신은 방법을 만든다
you make a way

항상 저를 인도할 사람은 이다
the person who will always be guiding me is
당신
You

단지 살기의 이유
The reason of only living
당신
You

나의 사막 안에 당신은 나의 오아시스이다
within my desert you are my oasis

단 초콜릿
The sweetest chocolate

Daniiel Phua [RIP]

2010-01-21T07:04:00.001-08:00

you were our classmate
you were our friend
most of all
you were like our brother.
someone who cheered us up when we were down
someone who annoyed us too
- but hey thats wht friends are for.
its been a few months since the whole class and friends including me
hadn't seen you..
- we didn't even get a chance to have our last talk
- we didn't even knew it was coming; you neither
- we didn't had a chance to say goodbye

for some of us
we were old time friends
memories were too much

for some of us
we knew each other in a short period of time
like me
even so,
the memories were treasured..
the memories with you; with us
the memories never forgotten

as they passed and brought along the news
we were all gobsmacked,
we were all shocked; is this a joke?!
-no

such a young age..
we weren't aware of your sickness getting that serious either
why didn;t you tell us?
good old daniel?..
not wanting to wory us..
Damn:(.

you were a strong boy
♥
you hadn't had enough of the world
the lively cheerful Stupid SILLY daniel phua?
-GONE??...

we were all saddened by this news
- it brought tears to our eyes,
- knowing we lost someone special
- a close friend, a brother, a family.

we will always miss you
we will always love you
we will always think of you

F O R E V E R
we will keep you alive in our hearts.

On behalf of Your Friends and me myself,
Freda.

we would like to say

Daniel Phua
may you Rest In Peace.

we will never forget you.
long live your memories in our hearts.

even as i am typing this now
tears rolls down my cheeks.

Daniel Goodbye
but not forever.

we miss you already.
♥

if only a miracle happened,
please come back
its too soon for you..

we miss you

2010-01-21T00:08:00.000-08:00

♥
真的想念你双手
真的想念和你玩
真的想念你的笑
真的希望我有机会和你在次在一起

keong di di arkk :(!! Brandyy.. haiz mizz u..

2010-01-20T02:21:00.000-08:00

Keong Diidii:我要mcfluriie等人请
等着我的keong弟弟买给我不过要等很久

Brandiie:where had the time go?
will you visit me in my dreams? i miss your face, i miss your voice
seriously, where had all the love gone to?!!!!...
when will you comiiing back down here?!!! or do u want me to accompany u up there?
how is it like up there? ii hope ur happy..
but the time for u came too soon.
ii will always wait for you, love you as my own sister. Love you My lil sissy..
now, i only have photo's of you to see you...

原谅我

2010-01-20T01:32:00.000-08:00

我不确定你昨晚对我说的是否真的.

你真的如持决定吗？

是否真心说的呢？

或者是暂时性的决定？

告诉我..

我真的想知道.

我快疯了.

只是让你知道.

我穿越世界

只是想听你的声音

我会从城市到城市奔跑，只为了见你♥

* ****************** *
*
*
*
*
::♥:: ::♥::
::♥::

::♥::24/7 你是我的天堂::♥::

::♥::24/7 未忘记过::♥::

::♥::原谅我::♥::

::♥::

*
*
*
*********************

没想到那段感情就这样随风而去

每次都想到我们的过去

我笑到受伤了，

但却没理会 .....

我知道爱你会受很大的伤

我会把握这个机会

我会去冒这段冒险

我会经过一切

不过我想得到新的机会在于你相爱

我试过不想你很久了

不过就算我与别人在一起

你的样子一直在我脑里旋转

你的名字, 就像无法抹走在我心里活着

我真的很爱你,我无法让你走

不过我再烦恼 ..

为何我是第一个找你?

不过你却没来?

。。。只因为爱你。。。

2010-01-19T03:59:00.000-08:00

让我说对不起.因为一开始.我就是那个责备的人,离不开你~

2010-01-19T02:00:00.001-08:00

我们相爱就是幸福♥

说实话，我真的不能让你走.

不过我希望你在你新的生活里能开心就算我做了什么事情,

我也只爱你

天天都爱你就算非常困难我也要慢慢放开你

只要让你知道.就这样

아무도는 이해한다

2010-01-18T23:25:00.000-08:00

together,
will you take my hand?
together,
let make our own frame.
Together,
lets make new memories
together,
lets say we'll stay together
together,
let's remain like this forever

today, teacher always came in late to class..
eng leong kept walking pass by
urging me to come out to have a chat

i walked on out
and he talked about my problems
i knew he tried to help
well he did, he talked with me
and that felt nice. nice to have someone to talk to
THANKS eng Leong ^^

you say you understand
im sure u do!
but the truth is.
u don't.- not tat much
because your not me
i entered hell
ever since the day i opened my eyes
i live , i work for my own roof.
i live i work for my own clothes and food
i live i work to satisfy the others .
but one problem is,
my life,
it hard to solve
even if u tried helping
i won't let you.
even if its my own problems
i wouldn't risk that chance to get you guys into trouble.
even if you Could solve it.
its not worth letting you guys take the risk

to me,
i won't wnt to trouble friends

to me,
friends are important

to me,
lives of others are Precious then mine.

to me,
they are the only things that makes me smile

the chatting ended.

as i walked on home...

from school

i passed by the park we used to sit at and talk and played.i smiled over this flashback it was the nicest memory i had.i went ahead and sat on the bench. took a puffi promised i wont anymore , but i had to release the stress..i looked up the sky placed my hand as if im reaching for something, it was then i realised i...

was whipsering your name. and i was smiling so hard..

damn..:)

silly me..

it was nearly dark
i sat in the circled tunnel and read all the people who have been here
the things they wrote
so touching , yet jealousy filled me..

all the memories flashed backed into my head.
it hurt, so much just like a big yellow school bus

but ever since 1.1.2010
i promised myself
i would no longer cry
even if there was pain and hurt or happiness.

as the memories hit me like a brick wall

i smiled and cried and touched my chest
it hurts alot, but i enjoyed the pain

tonight , everynight it is always time to gather.
i wanna quit, they won't let me.
all i have to do is stay.

im tired.
of waiiting

im tired.
of sneaking out

im tired.
of this life

im tired.
for not having freedom

im tired.
of school

im tired.
of the bruises

im tired.
of the tears

im tired.
of your neglected love

im tired

...........of being alive

regrets and unforgotten moments?..

2010-01-18T23:17:00.000-08:00

my life only exists for you

my life only exists for the pain

my life only exists for no freedom

my life only exists to assist others

my life only exists so i am misunderstood by my peers..

my life only exists to the tears of regrets

my life only exists to the unforgotten mistakes

my life only exists to the fake smiles i shower with people

my life only exists to accompany friends and family

my life only exists to love only one

my life only exists to wait till the time its my turn to go

day
day
day day
DAY!!!!!!

i think............

what went wrong?
it was me :)

night night night
as i walked by the park on my way out to our gathering point
my heart hurt..

as long as your happy
i'll stay out of your way

brandy...
when are you coming back?
so soon? u had to go?.....
:'(.....

2010-01-18T01:36:00.000-08:00

'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you

- Always

i left you

you left me too

but the truth is..

you never really did

i still can't forget you.

I really need help.

2010-01-18T01:34:00.000-08:00

1.minute
where that feeling gone to?? where had u go?.
ii'm sorry. Forgiive me..
even if its too late. just let me say,
even if its too late. i want u to know.
i still love you

i really can't let go
so long, since you've been missing
its good to see you again, how you doing?
how about we? dont let this happen again.

15 miinutes later..

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my heart telling me that " I MISS YOU "......

another 2 minutes later

i dont know where i stand with you i dont know what i mean to you all i know is everytime i look at you, think of you all i wanna do is be with you ...

2010-01-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

you even tried to rub it all over in my face?
do you know how much i loved you and still do?
you are fucking Breaking my heart over and over
apa lanjiao reason?

YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME
YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD ME
YOU NEVER TRUST MY ACTIONS

your just a fucking heartbreaker i loved for so long
i still do.
it's hard for me letting go
easy for you? its just take and spit it out for you right?

well that sucks
one day your life will only be filled with regrets

goodbye.

2010-01-14T05:26:00.000-08:00

all these old posts
are just xiimo's wiishful thinking

now i have to let them all go
i have to.
spending my life and time like this is just a waste
i will now smile and look forward to tomorrow
at least try to

but i hope one day
he will read through my blog
with his heart, over and over
i hope this blog will haunt him.

and understand my feelings tat i have towards him
and i would like to wish him all the best to him, his lover and his new life
goodbye.

btw.thanks for the way
you are treating me now
its so cold :)
i love it.

i'll try to let go
i'll try to fly up high
i'll try to love you no more
- impossible

i'll try..
no matter what.
i'll try

당신과, 계속해서 또다시 사랑에 빠졌는가? 저주, 나는 그런 지독한 바보이었다 .알게 다만 당신이 하기 위하여, 당신 성교 짧은 아이.!나는 당신의 지독한 장난감이 아니다.나는 당신을…. 귀중하게 사랑한 심혼이 있었다 그러나 당신은 그것을 계속해서 또다시 끊었다....그리고 당신 그것 다시 하기. 나는 당신을 미워한다. 그러나 나는 아직도 u를 사랑한다

2010-01-14T01:37:00.001-08:00

xiimo는 배고프다!!!

MCFluriie를 원한다 ♥

☺

2010-01-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

finding ways to escape reality
finding ways out of life
finding ways to get to serenity
finding ways to end my stupendity

i'm halfway blind
but i see you so clearly

i'm so weak
but i stay strong
- waiting for you

early in the morning
i look up the morning sky
the birds flew by.

mm..
thats the feel and taste of freedom
i placed my hand up high.. i let the sun beat down on my palm
the warmth, it feels so nice
yet temporary , when can i have it permanently?

have u ever noticed
when u cut yourself,
the pain it stays forever,
the scars it lasts forever.
the memories, it never ever dissapears and remains like a broken fragment?

but when u see happiness,
it feels warm
it feels nice
it feels like magic
it feels like u were the luckiest person in the world

but the feeling slowly dies,
but the feeling slowly fades away
but the feeling stays temporary
-it never stays so long

and the feeling from them slowly fades and they forget about you
they replace you with another Blooming flower
while they throw the whithering one away

have they not remember how much love it takes for a flower to bloom?
the hardwork put together
the time of companion to grew.

and the feeling turns to bad memories
and the bad memories turns to pain
and the pain turns to tears
and the tears turns to scars

its like a whole life cycle

while freedom
is something that doesnt come by everytime
only once in a lifetime
it come and go,

and that very time,
i didn't had a chance to grab that freedom
it was the only key to my cage .

now i only live the life from what the people plan for me
now i only live to satisfy their work and happiness.

while chatting over with my friends
i managed to smile with reason
i thought to myself
this feeling of companion and friendship
its been so long..
how long?
how long has it been when we sat over drinks and Roticanai?
and talk over our life?our feelings, our love life, our troubles our memories
that very moment. i managed to capture an image in my head
and save it up . in my disk heart.
then it came to the subject about HIM.

how long was i the one chasing ?
2years over..
the tears i cried over him
- i was a fool

the times i never had a mood
- i was an idiot

the times i kept all to myself
- he never understood.
- no one did.
- even him
- i never gotten over him.till today.
- i still love him. yes im stupid. i just cant stop
- i never showed it though, i just kept silent, and loved him from the shadows; i was always invisble
- no matter the rejection and hurt. i just kept going
- somehow, something kept me going on.

my friends my family
they misjudge me for who i am
who i look like
who i act like

they are wrong
they know nothing
how could they?
they are not me
i always did things for others
but never paid for return , never known i was the one , the doing of the deed
instead i get cold stares like i was the one to blame
i worked hard for their happiness , they never knew,
i went through so much, just to kept them smiling,
they disliked me for what they think i never did.

i never cried, i never hated them back
i just stayed who i was
i just stayed and i never changed
i just stayed and kept on smiling
but my smiled never reasons
i just stayed and kept on helping
- they need me. and i want to do it.

from this conclusion
xiimo will always love them
as in friends,
him
family

no matter what they think of
no matter what they do to me
no matter what they say about me
no matter how they think of me

i'll always be there for them
because i know what's the definition of

true love- it's the closest feeling to magic? yeah BULLSHIT. its a kind of feeling you will get temporarily, but then with the love and companion over time, it starts to grow deeper and stronger, with that hardwork, you know what you want, who u want to be with till the end, that lasts a lifetime. and at that very moment, u know u will always remember, never forget and ALWAYS never ever giving up no matter What it is And who it is For. Because in life. We were given a heart to use it in proper ways instead of misusing what we are capable of having and using

Friends- no matter who they are, you know what to do, when they are really true. u will always guard them through a lifetime. Bloodbinds

Family- they were the one that raised u from the start. they were the one that brought u into this life. all you have to do. is be with them through a lifetime all they way. and showering them with endless love and care, no matter what treatment we get.

at this moment as i type
they were also days, when i think i wanna end it
on the very spot. but when i think it through. why not let fate
decide my life. let it come and soon i will go :)

goodnights.

13.01.2010

2010-01-13T02:23:00.000-08:00

today
ii was dead tiired
ii was dead moody

but i had a great tiime
iit's been long since ii yum cha-d with wiilson and tze teng
we chatted and chatted
it reminded me of old times
when we were all one group, a bunch of happy friends
but now..
ahh iits complicated

anyways so over the table, we all shared our problems
we all shared our happy moments
we all shared our thoughts
i really enjoyed it alot.
being able to talk and express it over with them
it feels like they really care and litsen
Thanks for ur spare time :)

anyways,
after having our lunch. tze teng went along with her frenz
so me and wilson had to wallk back to school together

it was nice having someone like him to talk to
its been long since we hanged out like that
just wanna say thanks wil will :D!
hope to spend more time like that.

xiimo's conclusion came to an end

2010-01-12T01:23:00.000-08:00

xiimo's conclusion came to an end

the conclusion is now clear that xiimo is:

trying to find ways to get out of life

everything in me is broken and corrupted

i'm nothing but a defected experiment

2010-01-12T00:36:00.000-08:00

BRANDY

thanks for always being there for me
thanks for always lending me hand
thanks for always standing up for me for my rights and wrongs
thanks for always being my sister from birth till the end

thanks for the memories we shared
thanks for the conversations we laughed over
thanks for the arguements we cried over
thanks for the secrets we sweared over
thanks for giving me at least a nice piece of memory imprinted in me

but now that your no longer here,
but gone somewhere else

i'm all alone
everything's changed
i don't even know what to do anymore

i miss you

R.I.P

28th May 1994
till
10th January 2010

involved in a car accident
died of too much blood loss and brain tumor.

lots of love
from your one and only

kiim sung-hye
xiimo

i miss you
we will meet somewhere on the border line
just wait for me
i'll promise i'll be there
A.S.A.P

Brandy. i really need you now. where and WHY did you have to go? of all ppl you. i won't believe that your never coming back!!!!!!!.. Shit... of all people you. of all people me. am i just a toy produced by a manufacturer, thrown away into a dumpster, and always avoided?... a forgotten old memory? a tastless candy?......

2010-01-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

you thiink u guys can go around playiing jokes like that?. Ahhh iit Aint FUNNY!. i'll F-ing Screw u guys up. its not Funny to joke around when someone is/ isn't Dead!.

i have already LOST ENOUGH FRIENDS
i have already WENT THROUGH SO MUCH

i don't wanna lose anymore

so please don't joke around with me about these kind of things!
it isn't funny!. i don't wanna go through that experience anymore. it BURNS you for a lifetime.
to have to lose friends through a short matter, unexpected time.

haiz.....

저를 용서하고십시오, 사랑하십시오

2010-01-11T02:05:00.000-08:00

저를 용서하고십시오, 사랑하십시오

지금 나는 지금 막, 나가인 당신 결코 가지고 있어서 좋은 1개의 것 깨달았다. 나는 나의 실수했다. 그리고 지금 나는 그(것)들을 돌려받기 위하여 그(것)들을 쫓고 있다. 나가 말하고 싶은 모두는 이 생활에서, 나 지금 막 깨달았다 이다, 나는 지속되는, 전체적인 일생을 통해서만 사람이 당신이고 1명의 사람을 사랑해서 좋다. 나는 돌아오는 기회가 있던 경우에, 나는 나의 과오를, 만회한다 나가 u를 아프고 당신을 묵살한 시간을 정정할 것입니다. 나가 하고 싶은 모두는 당신을 사랑하기 위한 것이고 당신이 저를 후에 사랑하게 했다. 나는 또한 나의 머리에서 심각하게 내보낸다 당신을, 계속 그것 아주 길다 기운다. 그것에게 미친 저를 몰기.

나는 다만 이 마지막 춤이 있어서 좋은가?
그리고 당신이 저에게 1개의 마지막 기회를 줄 것이라는 점을 저에게 말하십시오

2010-01-11T01:28:00.001-08:00

that night
everything was said to be a gift sent down from heaven

that day
you told me to be yours
it was like finding something rare

the very moment
you took my hand and gave me my first kiss.
it brought tears to my eyes
knowing that you really loved me
knowing that i was loved
knowing to have this warmth
it was all like a image burned into my heart
when i look into your eyes
i see me.
- is that the person you love?

when u look inside my eyes,
do you see yourself staring back?.
- thats the person i wanna be for a lifetime,
- no matter what hardships i would have to go through
- i'll go through it all just to be with you
- so just give me a sign
- a sign that you care, a sign that you don't
- if not, i'll just be insanely screwing my brain over and over
- and it hurts alot. even now,

In that Time,
i knew that your name was permanently carved on my
Wooden Heart.
I chose to be with you
i still want to

the very day i found you, was the first time i fell deep in love. even though you left without a word. i always kept loving you till today. is it so hard to see through my feelings?. all i ever wanted was you to just stay by my side, never leave, and tell me the truth was that you loved me. but now.. your gone, im not ...sure i can have you back. i wanna speak up. but have u regained your heart?.

i want to tell you
Why i did that

i wanted to tell you
That i still want you

but, these thoughts still squander in my mind
what if you don't feel the same anymore?
then i would just be a fool desperate for you
- but the fact is i really love you
- i tried forgetting about u
- but your image just keeps projecting into my mind like flashbacks

what if you had someone else that could care for you
- i might as well stay aside and just watch

What if all this while,
it was just a joke to you?..

now i just realised, the one thing i can never have is you. i made my mistakes. and now im chasing them to get them back. all i want to say is in this life, i just realised, i can only love one person that lasts through a whole lifetime, and that person was you. if i had the chance to get back, i would correct my mistakes, make up for the times i hurt u and ignored you. all i want to do is love you and let you love me back.
i seriously cant get you out of my head , it has also been so long. its driving me insane.

2010-01-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

tiick tock.

where are you?

tiick tock.

ii'm getting cold.
- please come soon

tiick tock.
ii'm stupid
- laughing to myself

tiick tock.
you'll never come back
- i'm a fool over you

tiick tock.
please don't leave
- you already did

tiick tock.
i criied day and night
- i wiiped my own tears.

tiick tock.
i thought of you
- are you doiing the same too?
- guess not

tiick tock.
ii'll never say goodbye.
iit's too long, too much, just to let iit all go liike that

tiick tock.
my friends say iim a piity
giive up on hiim
he is hopeless
he iis a jerk
he doesn't deserve your love
he never CARED
he moved on..
your stubborn.

- i don't need your piity
- i don't want to
- he iisn't, YOU don't know hiim
- enough!
- *silence* whatever
- but ii did
- ii won't move on
- yes ii am , yes ii am

tiick tock
i looked at my palm
the spaces between my fingers that were created for you to fill them up
now they will always be empty.

2010-01-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

iit raiined heaviily today iin the morniing
iit pulled my mood down even more
wiithout reallising it,

tears flowed down my cheeks.

jovee slapped me many times :(

banged my head repeatedly

*get outta my head*

abandoned agaiin
iit was always you..

♥

2010-01-07T02:09:00.000-08:00

1.The great love i have for you
2.Is gone and i find my dislike for you
3.Grows everyday when i see you
4.I do not even like your face
5.The one thing i want to do
6.Is to is look at other boys.I never wanted to
7.Marry you. Our last conversation
8.was very boring and has not
9.made me look forward to seeing you again
10.you think only of yourself
11.if we were married i know that i would find
12.life very difficult and find no
13.pleasure living with you.I have a heart
14.To give. but its not something that
15.i want to give you. No one is more
16.foolish and selfish as you.You are not
17.able to care for me and help me
18.i sincerely want you to understand that
19.I speak the truth. You will Do me a favour
20. If you think this is the end.Do not
21.Try to answer this.Your letters are full of
22.things that do not interest me. you have no
23.True love for me. Good bye.Believe me
24.i do not care for you please don't think that
25. i am still your lover♥

read odd numbers :)

2 thiings i can't have

2010-01-07T01:53:00.000-08:00

today iin my work friends vehicle
there were total of 6 of them in the car
we were conversing about what we wanted most
and we all had to give an honest opiniion

the question: 2 Thiing you want most but can't have

all their answers were normal
- BMW 7 series
- Be a super model

- Singer
- Famous designer

- Sports Racer
- My very own beautiful girls

- Malaysian Top gamer
- Top 1 Clubber

- Lots of Money
- Lamboughini

then iit came to me
ii didnt bother to answer i just kept still and quiet
but they all priicked it out from me

silently my answers flowed

My answer:

1.Hiim
-They all shook their heads in pity and frowned

i answered back, i don't need your self pity , this is my decision to choose,not yours

2.Freedom, the one thing i can never have
-They all kept quiet knowing thats the truth and all tried to gave me a frenly smile
-Then whispers.

i answered back, i'm strong on the surface not all the way through. i have ears. need not whisper, i can hear everything.

The end of the conversation
then they all brought me to MCDonalds and bought me 2 McFlurries to brighten up my mood

Thanks guys.

ii'm screwed..

2010-01-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

went to doctors last niight before meet up.
8pm - arrived at GH

went into the doctors room
had a mediical check up

waited for an hour
waited for the results
i felt so weak and down

i froze
i held the results
i smiled

What i was waiting for
a sign to end this story of my life

Results: patients following Riight eye is partiially blind
Results: Patients left lung weak transferring of blood fluids and oxygen not functioning at normal speed
Results: right Kidney infected
Results: very low blood pressure

Attention: please do not go for activities such as Sports ; not allowed to eat any high caloried food. including Sugar that may increase / decrease of bloodpressure instantly

ii hope one of these turns out more seriously
all i have to do is let it end me - Quiick

忘不了你

2010-01-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你
忘不了你

16.04.09
还记得吗？
对不起

2010-01-07T01:14:00.000-08:00

iit's a new year
ii wanna restart
ii wanna know you agaiin
ii wanna hold hands wiith you agaiin
ii wanna smiile alongsiide with you
ii wanna jump like monkeys wiith you
ii wanna love you all over agaiin

just , but
wiith a fresh new start

but ii'm not sure
but ii'm not aware

have you regaiined back your heart.
have you found someone else special that kept you happy.

forget iit, just let me hurt myself iin the long run
whiile i watch you and love you behiind the shadows of the world
and Reminiscing in my own thoughts of regrets
of letting you go.

iif you let them go and they came back- they really love you
- that was me, i came back for you twice
- i let you got twice

iif you let them go and they just walked away- they never really cared

-you never cared...

why can't ii forget you
who carved your name into my shallow heart?
iis there a cure for this unattended Love.

вяoҝεή☠iήsρiiяa†iion

2010-01-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

вяoҝεή☠iήsρiiяa†iion
вяaggεd †o †hε εή†iяε woяld
Wai†εd iή †hε pouяing яain
jus† foя чou

love iis paiin
love iis over

ii waiited for you last niight
ii waiited for you sitting on the swiing drowning in my own reminisces
ii waiited for what wasn't riight/fooliish
ii waiited for you iin the niight
ii waiited for you iin the pouriing raiin at 3am.
ii waiited for you tiill Brandiie Criied For me - ii'm sorry Giirl.
ii waiited for you tiill my heart/braiin's iin a twiist and miisery
ii waiited for you tiill i shiivered
ii waiited for you tiill i'm nearly dead siick
ii waiited under that cold diim light
ii waiited but ii knew u weren't comiing
ii waiited but ii knew iit wasn't gonna happen
ii waiited for you at school - you didn't even looked
ii waiited for you outsiide - you walked right passed me
ii waiited for a siign - you gave me none.
ii waiited for you to approach me
ii waiited for you to speak
ii waiited for the day u told me that you really loved me
ii waiited for you to show me that you care
ii waiited 2 years for you
ii waiited for nothiing , yet ii didn't care

ii wiill always waiit for you
ii wiill always love you

even iif i'm wiith another person
my love for you shall never fade

ii can't get you outta my head
your liike a drug ii want but can't have.
at the same tiime you were like the daiily dose of medicine
that needs to keep me stabilized

but you broke my heart
you never really seemed to care
you forgot so easiily

or was ii the only one to be blamed for my stupendity?
my body aches , top to bottom.
This Paiin it spreads just likes wildfire
The way my love spreads more for you..

@@

2010-01-06T03:31:00.000-08:00

iim so friiging bored
someone please order me around?
:).
jomlah jumpe kat kuchai lepak jalan jalan cari makan
hoho!...

add maths iis screwiing my braiin ><

Today ii managed to annoy Mr.Highpants [ENCIK rahim]
ham sap lou keep ask me so manny things.
Agitating me too much
so all the answers were short simple yet easy
*DUNO*

2010-01-05T22:39:00.000-08:00

The Mask of Paiin

my mask is pain.
For some reason or another ii just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life.
ii get angry when people try to relate with how ii feel,
because ii'm convinced they won't understand.
Deep down ii know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know me,
but instead ii often find myself closing off from them around me.
ii have my selected friends,
but They can't help ,iinstead ii want something more, that i can't find out what exactly that is
ii find opening up difficult,
but ii do find my ways to let things out.
ii have my good days,
but even through the good times,
ii feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right.

whatever, there's no diiference..

什么是爱？？！

2010-01-05T03:38:00.000-08:00

The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe.

If hate is such a strong word, then why do we toss around love like it's nothing?

Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.and that person was you

爱？

2010-01-05T03:29:00.001-08:00

ii was iin my room
thiinking over and over

scriibbled on a piece of a paper

and all these quotes ii gather

to share it all over

every biit of my shattered heart
every part of my Whole heart

warm / cold
broken / fixed

Liies a part where iit all comes back to reality to haunt me
over and over repeatedly

God gave us two ears to hear,
two eyes to see and two hands to hold.
But why did God give us only one heart?
Because he wants us to find the other one.

Back then I thought I was the unluckiest person in the world,
then I looked at you and smiled.
Why? Because no matter how unlucky I was,
it was worth it because of you.

They said love is like a toy.
When it's new, it's so loved and don't want to lend it to others,
doesn't want anybody touching it and don't want to let go of it.
Yes, it's being taken care of, but the down side is, it's being played so many times.

In every girls life there will always be those three guys..
.the one she loves,
the one she hates,
and the one she cant get enough of..
.and in the end...
they're all the same guys.

I love you not because I need you,
I need you because I love you

They say love hides in every corner,
then I must be walking in circles

Is the word "love" important?
I don't know but for me, you are more important.
Do you know why?
Because how can I say "I love you" if you're not here.

One time I asked you, "why do you love him so much?" you told me, "because we've been together for so long", I got annoyed because you're numb, you didn't even think that the time you were together, it took me longer to have waited for you.

No matter how many times I get hurt because of you, I won't leave you. Because even if I have a hundred reasons to leave you, I'll look for that one reason to fight for you.

2010-01-05T03:16:00.000-08:00

ii hate beiing in thiis school

seeing that very particular persons makes my

heart ache

the one to blame, me

i caused myself to get hurt in the long run .

2010-01-05T02:33:00.000-08:00

you were always there for me
when thiiings tends to go wrong

iit was that faiith you had in me
that kept our love STRONG

10.12.2009

♥

2.0.1.0

2010-01-04T02:40:00.000-08:00

2.0.1.0

iits a new year

make a new better liife

make new memoriies

make new tragediies

make new niightmares

together lets make a new photo frame

together lets gather at our getaway

together lets make our own love story

together lets hold hands under the rain

together lets whisper our love quotes endlessly

together lets walk to the road that leads on forever

shall we ?

happiie new year
to all viiewers of xiimo's blog

xiimo☻

2010-01-04T00:02:00.000-08:00

iits to paiinful for me

to be iin the same school again

Same faces

Old memoriies

Shattered Hopes

iits the new year

more scars to be made.

boo-hoo

ii am bleediing with these fresh new scars

you liike? :3

why don't you just go ahead

pour some salt in these freshly made wounds

and complete your satisfaction to the limit

Adults ?

They thiink what they do and say iis always right

They never let me Speak out for what i was right and wrong

They misjudge our feeling and actions

They always think that its never that complicated but simple

They Think that disbandiing us from a little bit of freedom will do me good

no computer; stress
- well? here i am typing on the net._.
- cyber

No handphone; What The F8CK?
- well? i'm busy texting my ♥ and Frenz
- i have plenty of them

Not allowed to go out , EVER; WHAT THE FIIIIIISHHHH!!!!?
- This i am screwed
- no socializing with friends
- no fresh air

No TV; iim ok with that ._.''

The only thing i was approved for was
beiing surrounded by books
i think when i die there will be no difference

because i'm already living in hell
Life , its like a home. Its dragging me down.

Nothiing's gonna stop me from having my part of freedom
ii need space
ii need my air
ii need somewhere dark and cold where i can roam

At niight, every 1am.
i sneak out of the house and take a 20 minutes walk wiith my lads and groups
Wiith a hoodie, short and sneakers on.
I take a deep breath and Chiilax

They weren't lowlife rats
They were people like me, someone who want to do what they may
They were people That loved the air of freedom
They were people That always guarded each others backs and respected each other
They were people that understoon someone like me.
They were people that had went through many bloodshed and pain together with me
They were people that stuck with me just like f.a.m.i.l.y
They were people that pretended to be someone else for their parents approval
They were people like me; trying to escape from that part of life

They were people i belong wiith.
- we enjoy the limited freedom that we grasp
- we enjoy the time we chiilax and talked
- we enjoy the dark vast sky that marks our freedom

ii remembered,
one niight it wasn't gatheriing night
ii had famiily/relationships/Friendship problems
i went out 1am i walked on and on..
iit was my biirthday
boohoo.. what a day
with my hoodie on.
my viision was blur
my hearing so weak
my breathing so heavy

yes; ii was finally sick
siick of all this commotion
siick of this heartbreak
siick of these lies
siick of my liife

i stumbled along the road weak and emotionless
ii was so blur
as ii turned i saw two briight lights
heaven? come to take me away?
no, iit stopped. it isn't my time yet?
when will my blood be shed?
when will my heart stop?
workiing this hard for liife?.
whille in return i get so many crap and shits

ii breathed in the air and breathed it out
i place my hand at the sky and grasped for it
Freedom?..
When?...
i want it
Desperately
it was 4am
i started walkiing along the park..
my viision was blur. .
i didn't know what happened
two fiigures walk past by me- electrifying pain whizzed through me
sinister laughters as they walked away

i scrambled up to my feet, managed my whole way to the park
and sat my self on the pavement. and stared up
my hands placed on my waist
i lifted them up to see red colour liquid

such a nice dark colour
yet salty metallic smell

ii started getting cold
my liips got purple.
i placed my fingers and traced my wound.
low lifed rats..
such freedom?. jealousy overcomes me
Yet another scar on my body
how many is it already?..

such warm liquid flowing out
shyt, staining my hoodie ..

i smiled to myself and stared up.
with the other hand
ii reached into my pocket for my cell phone
unlocked it, finding so many biirthday messages.
What do they know bout my liife?
Nothiing. . .

ii lied there till i passed out for an hour or so
once i recovered my self
i managed myself back home.
and just wrapped my body in bandages and slowly took its time to heal

2010-01-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
_______________________________________________

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. _________________________________

MARCH: Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
_________________________________

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see. _________________________________

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_________________________________

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
_________________________________

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
_________________________________

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .
_________________________________

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
_________________________________

October : Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
_________________________________

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable
_________________________________

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

dark confessions

2010-01-03T23:10:00.000-08:00

ii know you have nothiing much to say to me
iits ok, in this relatiionship lend me a hand?
Just let me do the talkiing, Let me love you
Love me back. Smiile and Tell me that you are happy

ii love you
ii miiss you
.1314.

These words will never bore me, ii will neither get tiired of sayiing it
because i will only say it to you, For you

Giiive me your hand, together we will find a way to get through every obstacles and objects that gets in our Road.
Together we will walk on the road that leads us to Forever.
No matter what, nothiings gonna change my love for you
because i love you just the way you are.

The spaces between my fiingers were left for someone else to fill them up
and that was
-you

the siight of you makes my heart Flutter
Heariing you sing puts my miind at ease
Knowiing that you love me makes me blush and feel warm.
- it's been so long ever since i felt that way

Knowiing that you will never leave me alone.
- ii just hope iits not a lie, ii trust you.. i won't too..

ii'm just liike a toy, a hand made outcast wiith only one glass heart
ii was broken so many tiimes
Played around then tossed around here and there
left in The Shadows Of a Clown

Pretending to smile,
Pretending to be what i wasn't
Pretending to feel like i belong
Pretending to be strong
Pretending to feel

ii was so briitle yet so frail inside.
i always kept everythiing to myself.

You always said what you thiink.
ii let you, speakiing out for myself would only break 2 hearts
so i miight as well just hurt myself in the long run

But wiith you, i withstand myself to the limit.
Your what keeping me alive wiith emotiions
Your what keeping me warm and Red

ii love you ,
iim not sure you are aware of that.
iif i had one wiish
I wiish that you could lend my eyes
So that you could see how special and important you are to me
and how i feel when i look at you.
So just do me one favour

Tell me your happy ?
Tell me your sad?
Tell me how you feel?
Just don't resent me. .

because this life i am living, its just like a cage.
iim strong on the surface not all the way through

2009-12-17T06:16:00.000-08:00

for you my love shall never fade♥

☺

2009-12-09T09:18:00.001-08:00

my

F
.
A
.
U
.
L
.
T

2009-12-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

a heart that carries a millions of burdens around the world
will soon to falter like withered rose
its like life withiin a barrier.
iit's limited and weak.

just a little longer, stay

2009-12-09T04:58:00.001-08:00

for a little longer please stay
don't falter ``goodbye`` you said

what can i do to make you stay? what can i give to you to make you mine once again? i'll take the moon and grab the stars and place them in your pocket. so everytime u want to make a wish just take them out and think of me.

its always the same no matter what i say, you will go soon anyways. so all i can say and left to do. is say goodbye and wave to you. come back soon to visit , at the mean time. stay longer by the exit..=(

2009-12-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you, and I wish upon a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. rejection hurts. losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.

I love you so much that at times I cannot look at you for fear that I might faint or die or wake up.

No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he'll never make you cry.

The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to.

of all the ways you hurt me; I think the worst was when you stood up and asked her to dance to our song.

When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it

"Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart."

The worst thing to confront is to watch the person you love loving someone else!

I'm gonna love you up and love you down i'd cross the world just to hear your sound

Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?

The worst thing of love is you trying to confess your love to the one you love,but u worry of his/her rejection,so in the end u just sit quietly there and gaze at that person,unitl she/he realizes that you had fell in love with them

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind, I would say once, because you never really left…

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her!

I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

The hottest love has the coldest end

Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one.

True love begins when nothing is looked for in return

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

For every word you say, another piece of my heart you take

He taught me how to love, but not how to stop.

Love is a language spoken by everyone, but understood only by a heart.

All life is just a progression toward, and then a recession from, one phrase—`I love you.

Loved you once, you loved me not, I love you twice but I forgot. You never loved me and you never will, but, even so, I love you still

I always knew I would look back on my crying and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry.

Nothing can change what you mean to me There's a lot that I want to say But just hold me for this moment, 'Cause our love will light the way

roses are red. violets are blue. Love never crossed my mind until the day i met you.

Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.

Any guy can love a thousand girls...but only a rare guy can love one girl in a thousand ways

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back...don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours

How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.

If God is the DJ, then Life is the dance floor. Love is the rhythm, and You are the music.

if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours. If it doesnt, it was never yours.

when you say you LOVE someone, make sure that your spelling is correct. because if you're going to browse a dictionary, luv.lav.lab.lub. means NOTHING.

if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it’s…LOVE.

They said that if you are unable to sleep, it's because there's someone thinking about you...surely that person misses you. That's why if you can't sleep, sorry, I can't help it.

The best thing about me is you.

Love is like playing the piano, first you must learn to play by the rules, then you forget the rules and play from your heart

you are my sun, you are my moon,I will be with you till your last afternoon

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special boy/girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

A kiss, when all is said, what is a kiss? It is an oath of allegiance taken at a closer proximity. A promise more precise. A seal upon a confession. The red dot upon the I of loving. Instances of eternity, murmuring like a bee. A balmy communication with the sweet scent of flowers, that elects the mouth to the ears. It is a passion of inhaling each others heart, each others& soul, and each others& lips.

And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.

It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i just hurt myself worse in the long run..

By following my heart I came to you, I only forgot to take something back with me. For my thoughts are still with you.

I close my eyes and all i see is you.

2009-12-02T17:38:00.001-08:00

-hope iis a paper boat that sinks. what's me without u?...

깊어가

2009-12-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

can you feel my love?

♥

선곡표

2009-12-01T03:08:00.000-08:00

Stay 이 밤이 깊어가지만

부디 안녕이라고 말하지마

그댄 어떤가요

이밤에 끝을 잡고 싶은데

그건 절대 안돼나요

난 그대 원하고 원망하죠

이별 택시를 타고

어서 아리요 잘가요

let me say goodbye

거리에서 혼자 남은 한 남자

사랑한단 말 그 거짓말에

한숨만 늘어가네

다신 사랑안해

남자답게 이젠 널 지우려해

다시 마주치지말자 난 행복해

근데 사랑은 향기를 남기고가

벌써 그녀가 너무 보고 싶다

정말 사랑했나봐

그래 너의 뒤에서 후회한다

친구라도 될껄 그랬어

사랑하긴 했던걸까

장난이었던건 아닐까

우리가 노래하던 이별 얘기들이

가사처럼 기억도 잊혀져갔다

다시 사랑한다 말할까

사랑할수록 멀어져간 사람아

아무리 생각해도

난 너를 사랑해 그리고 생각해

너를 위해 천일동안

이별이 오지못하게

내 눈물 모아 살다가

사랑하는 왜

내 남은 사랑을 위해

벌써 일년 사랑하기 때문에

아름다운 이별

그대만 있다면 행복한 나를

다 줄거야 사랑은 아름다운 날들

사랑했잖아 뭐를 잘못한거니

너의 집 앞에서 발걸음 덩그러니

바람이 분다 전부 너였다

한장의 추억 사진을 보다가

기억속으로 가만히 눈을 감고

어제처럼 또 한번 사랑은 가고

기억에서 멀어진

너의 모습을 찾을수 있었지

널 잊을수 없어

날 보낼수 없어

이렇게도 사랑하긴 했던걸까

장난이었던건 아닐까

니가 노래하던 이별 얘기들이

가사처럼 기억도 잊혀져갔다

사랑하긴 했던걸까

장난이었던건 아닐까

니가 노래하던 이별 얘기들이

가사처럼 기억도 잊혀져갔다

요즘 랩들을 만날 노래가 없어

마음속에 담을만한 가사가 없어

그대가 떠났기 때문에

세상이 변했기 때문에

요즘엔 들을만한 노래가 없어

마음속에 담을만한 가사가 없어

그대가 떠났기 때문에

세상이 변했기 때문에

xiimo♥

2009-11-30T17:18:00.000-08:00

Yeah, love is pain.
Dedicated to all my broken-hearted people.
One's old flame. Just scream my name.
And I'm so sick of love songs.
Yeah, I hate them damn love songs.
Momentos of ours

Late night, you come with the falliing rain my mind begins to stir with the wet memories.
Even if I swear to myself I can live without you.
But I can't help it.
I fill my heart with achohol,
but I still feel empty.
The days without you feel so long.
I beg heaven to please erase you.(It's all a lie.)
Without you I can't smile, tears don't even form.
I don't want to live anymore.
It's wrong, it pisses me off.
I feel like I'm going crazy thinking about you.
I can't see you even if I want to.
It's over, I'll be right there

I'm so sorry, but I love you.
It's a lie.I didn't know,
I know now that I need you.
I'm so sorry but I love you.
I said things out of anger and without me knowing I had to let you leave.
I'm so sorry, but I love you.It's all a lie.I'm so sorry, but I love you
I'm so sorry, but I love you.Can I forget it all slowly?
So I can be hurt

The song I put my everything into and sung for you.[People probably don't know.]
Alone, without anyone knowing.Yeah, the lies I made.
I've been left alone, keep roaming with the loneliness.
The note for seperation crumbled in my pocket.Where are you?
The habit of calling you.I want to change.I want to laugh everything over.

Hope everything's a dream.
For being able to do only this.
I still can't forget you.
No, even eventually, even after death.
Has the scar I gave you healed?
I'm sorry for not being able to anything for you

我们相爱就是幸福

2009-11-29T11:38:00.000-08:00

If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly

I might have been in love before

But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both know

They'll take us where we want to go

Hold me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

The world may change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy

Our love will lead the way for us

Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You don't have to change a thing

I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view

I'll help you see forever too

Hold me now, touch me now

I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure ofI'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

The world may change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

The world may change my whole life through

But nothing's gonna change my love for you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure ofI'll never ask for more than your love.

我

们

相

爱

就

是

幸

福

♥

cso tour 22.11.09 photos

2009-11-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

XMii-Kiimo
A.K.A Xiimo

mimie_rokers.XMii-Kiimo

NcJie.XMii-Kiimo

xXRainbowXx.XMii-Kiimo

mimie_rokers.XMii-Kiimo

Mimie_rokers.XMii-Kiimo

XMii-Qiimo. XMii-Kiimo

NcJie.XMii-Kiimo

NcJie.XMii-Kiimo

XMii-Qiimo.XMii-Kiimo.xXRainbowXx

xmll-Kiimo.XMii-Kiimo.[Alonez]Cool

Here are some of the photos taken during the CSO tournament on the 22/11/09
i had a great time even though we didnt make it coz i didnt take it seriously :).. anyways it was funny ,but the reason i went there wasn't to win nor to lose, i only particitpated just to meet up with the real life cso players and so far i managed to meet up with my friends cso gor gor hihiboy, NeosonBlitzz, Cso-Wangzi,Huahua, Ncjie, xXrainbowXx , Madness-ppl, alonez cool and xmll kiimo aka kamwai..also i managed to met up with one of my clan members xmii-Oiimo
and he was so CUTE xD....
horhor?.. kakaz..
anyways i didnt managed to take photo with my frenz from alonez coz they were buzy aiiiks
bt anyways i will miss them and it was great meeting them in real life

next year i will be participating in the coming tournament and this time i'm not going to go easy even if its a kid..
was nice meet u all :D...
See you guys again in the coming tour
013. 013 . 013 . 013

2009-11-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

i don't wanna bother you
but i want you to know
how i feel. . .

Why?.

??

2009-11-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

i love you still
do you?

비 통 한
2009-11-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

진한 파란색 하늘, 하늘 신선한 공기는, 새 날아가고 나는 시간을 봤다,
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
나가 이번에를 전부 기다리고 있는 무엇이라고, 마지막으로,
당신의 음성을 들을 것을 당신이 보는 것은,
나머지에 나의 심혼을 놓는 유일한 사람 지금 막 이었다.
i' 나가 당신을 만날 이래로 없어 당신.
우리가 말하기 시작할 이래로 당신 사랑.
시간은 어디로에 갔는가? 저이라고 잊혀진 당신이 있었다?.
또는 다른 소녀를 들어왔다 전망, 당신 이다 나의 없는 수수께끼, 저를 완료하는 것,
colour.i를 가진 나의 생활을 사랑한 당신을, 나 항상 그리는 것 했다. 저에게 돌아오는.

The dark blue sky, the sky fresh air, the birds flew by and i watched the time,
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Finally, what i have been waiting for all this time,
was just to see you, to hear your voice the only person that sets my heart at rest. i've been missing you ever since i met you. loving you ever since we started talking. where did the time go to? had you forgotten me?. or did another girl came in view, you are my missing puzzle, the one that completes me, the one that paints my life with colour.i loved you, i always did.
come back to me.. .

the day you left me
the day u stopped talking to me
the day i was all alone
left me talking to my own thoughts

its been 6 months together
-happy moments, but we were living a long distance relationship..
-i missed you, i always thought of you. . .
-Did you feel the same way too?
-you said you were going to come in the late 2 months time.
-i love you
-i need you

its been 5 months apart
-when my eyes are open, tears gather
-when my eyes were closed, they seem to flow down without hesitation
-i cry in my sleep when i dream of you
-i cry when i am awake staring at the ceiling thinking of you
-its been 5 months and i couldn't find you, you didn't even find me.
-but the tears i cried were just air.
-ever since u left, i carried no emotions
-my heart became weak
-whenever i laughed it hurt so much
-because without u i deserved no happiness..
-even now i still love you, why doesn't that feeling change?
-Does yours feel the same?. . . .
-even during the exam, all i could do was think of you you you
-i was waiting for you the whole way.

finally i found you, but i could see that you regained back your heart
did you forget me :)
should i find you?.
-and crash your heart? and trouble you?
or should i just watch from afar
-and see your lovely smile. . .

붙들 것이다 특별한 손을 비치하기 위하여
to have a special hand to hold

나는 나의 손을 온난한 다시 원한다.
i want my hands to be warm again.

당신은 나의 없는 수수께끼이었다
you were my missing puzzle

아기
baby

사랑해요 순전히
i love you so much

저에게 돌아오는
come back to me.

또는 누군가는 하기 위하여 다만 저에게 무엇을 말할 수 있다.
or can someone just tell me what to do. .

생활 등을 맞댄 저를 데려오십시오
bring me back to life

나의 사랑은 언다
my love is frozen

비
통
한

H
E
A
R
T
B
R
O
K
E
N

xiimoisafool.☺

xiimo's 마지막.

2009-11-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운
유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

유감스러운 유감스러운

m a z e 미로 . .

2009-11-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

Three blind mice as we're lost in the maze route, lookin' for the easiest possible way out.
Day in and day out, you run into a closed road. turning into old folk, chasing after rose gold.
What they don't know is that it belongs to a fool.
Choosing wants over needs, singing songs of a mule.
Carrying their burdens when you barely know the person,
And that is the difference between a pharaoh and a servant.
I choose to serve no man no one.
At the same time avoiding all of earth's landmines.
You step in it and you blow up,
You exit or you grow up, or get locked up.
The pigs catch ya eating donuts.
But i'd rather rhyme bars than sit behind bars.
How can a prison cell contain this shining bright star.
They have no idea what i could do in a minute's time.
Break down the walls of the maze and run through the finish line.

Life is like a maze... when i'm flippin through the pages.

It's high definition black and white.
Is it digital, analog, wack or tight?
It's stressful wishing sacrifice, and the list goes on. it's the facts of life.
East coast ettiquite, west coast slang.
Peace we'll never get if shit don't change.
Do you play with the majors or go independent?
Gotta stay paid but i'm broke like a peasant.
Love, sex, greed, addictions. what's next?
Need directions. there's nobody left to follow.
Wallow in my sorrow for a hollow tomorrow.
Life is like a maze, try to keep track of the days that take us from place to place.
Awaken and face-to-face.
Too many choices, possibilities, indecision is killing me.
And if you lend a helping hand, then i will follow willingly

Flip through fashion magazines, cop a swag or lean.
When nothing's goin 'smooth', rub a little vaseline.
Do an online, offline, frontline search. either quench or confine your columbine thirst. cuz you wanna fit in...
And find a perfect 'match' to set your heart in flames. you wanna be a catch.
Catch-22, catch the flu, catchphrase.
By any means necessary in this rat's maze.
It's a black haze muddle, a rainy day puddle...
Life is gonna wet ya, get ya in a muzzle.
A struggle to survive, a huddle nine to five with no quarterback.
Change? you won't even get a quarter back.
It's a murder fact, reality kills. call your doctor now for your reality pills.
Chill, but still worry... a bug's goin' around.
Cuz life is like your homie, it's 'holdin' u down'.

☻Xiimo

부서지는 미소

2009-11-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

This emptiness is eating me up alive
This guilt is ripping me up to bits
This despair and sadness is driving me insane
This hope i always believed in just sank like a paper boat

never thought that i would fall in love
as it all started from just a simple crush
as i thought i could find someone ,
a guy i could trust, but i guess that wasn't enough
Bitter and sweet,
that is how its supposed to be.

From day to day,
night to night,
my hands were never warm
but remained icy cold.

my smile was never sincere,
my smile never reasoned anymore
its just something i plaster on to hide this emptiness
my eyes lost its sight to the one who broke my heart
my hearings became deaf , as your sweet voice pierces it with lies and betrayal
my dreams, my hopes shattered like a broken tea cup only revealing the spilled mess
my heart became black and was stripped away of emotions and reasons
now i remain a defect, an unfinished experiment , an unwanted substance
A Puzzle that has lost its missing piece. .

To love
is to either break someone's heart
or get yours broken; badly

not to love
is to either feel empty but safe
or to envy others.

as i looked backed into my past memories
i have noticed i had broken so many's heart
due to the insufficient time i can spend with them
long distance, too busy, or either i got cheated..
remaining and standing as a solo
u share no pain with anyone else but bears with it alone

for this i will go all the way around.

after work, it was around 12am i supposed?
i was dead tired yet i needed to take a stroll and inhale in fresh air.
it wasn't cold it was warm.
but i was always feeling icy cold.
even under the hot beating sun. as my friends lay a finger on me.
they jerk off and said i just came out from a freezer.
as i walked to the park
i sat on the swing
it was dark and gloomy with just a pinch of dark blue liight.
i stared up and settled my eyes at the sky
isn't it nice and vast, i wish i could settle myself in the dark
i won't have to hide because i can't be seen anymore.
i ziipped up my hoodie and took my hands out from my pocket and looked at my palms
they were pale like white and icy cold. i do not get it. .
its so warm yet i am so cold, yet i get constant fevers.
and when i laugh. my heart aches, like i do not deserve to laugh
i stared back into the dark sky and i say a big glitter,
a star. . its so rare to see in KL .. The city of Mirror, the city of heat. The city of light
where there is no night. .
lovely.
a star that every kid wishes upon on.
i closed my eyes and made a wish.
i wished my brother Frank would suceed in life
i wished my existense was never true.
i want to dissapear.

as i close my eyes i see nothing but pain
pain directed to smiles
The stress the pressure. everyone giving to me
i can take it. is that enough?..
my limit is coming near.
i wish to dissapear soon.

i wish i was blind
i wouldn't have to see the sufferings brought to my sights

i wish i was death
all these arguements screams and hurtful words wont be brought to my ears

i wish i couldn't talk
i can shut Up the whole life till the day it comes i close my eyes; forever

i wish i was senseless
when They beat me, The bullies , my parents i wouldn't feel a thing .
i would just bleed and die without pain

i owe many apologies to so many people
to the ones i have hurt.
but haven't you thought that before it was my doing
u started and ignited the fire first?
u caused me double damage.
now i'm broken.

이 손은 얼음 감기이다. 붙들기 위하여 누구의 손이 의미되었는가?

부서지는 미소
Broken Smiiles

Xiimo

i miss u ...

2009-11-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

i lay on my bed
questioning my thoughts and answers
reliving my past years memories
then it hit me.

and image that flashed back in my mind
as tears flowed down..
i wondered and asked

how are you
how is it like up there?
when will you come back
why was life so short for you
why did you had to go
do you miss us?
we are all waiting..
for the chance to reunite again..

****

it was around 8pm-10pm if i wasn't mistaken
me and my brother , Frank was watching dvd's like we did everyday.
it was then we got a call. My brother took a look at the caller id , its ****** he whispered to me and answered it.

HE FUCKING JUMPED OFF!
i..i..ii... i told him SHIT.
SHIT. i told him to come down. IT WAS RAINING FRANK.
HE SLIPPED..and he jumped of THE FUCKING 16th FLOOR!

whoa whao.. what HAPPENED?
WHO?

Aaron.
He jumped of the fucking 16th floor..
He slipped n FELL!.
Shyt Shyt..

Aaron??!!!..

*Click
- as i heard his name. everything hit me like a big yellow school bus. i was speecless . so was my brother.
-That very night. me and my brother lost a dear friend and a brother.

i remembered..
just the other week
he called me up saying its been a long time we went out for supper
and he also told me he was in kl
unfortunately this incident happened.
i laid in bed crying . .
why of all person you . .

you were always there to cheer us up
you were always the first to greet us happy birthday.
you were always the reason why we never got down

ur unfortunate event happened on her little's brothers birthday
we shared the same birthday..
i will always remember you
even till now
i still remember all the happy moments we cherished together with me n my bro
the bowl of kolo mee we would chump down :D

how are you up there ..
We all miss u dear..
its been 6 months already. . .
someday we will all reunite. . .
then we will go and hang around and eat some ko lo mee.
i miss u Aaron Teo kor..

Eleanore too...

i was just wondering one thing

why of all people you?...

Forever in our Hearts
and memoriies

A A R O N T E O
♥

2009-10-25T04:11:00.000-07:00

what do you feel when you see this?
- Jealous
- agitated
- Hurt
- desperate ; yet not wanting it more
- i'll chase it till my heart beat stops, but i will remain a distance not wanting to have it.
- but wanting to chase it

Why?
-Beauty is a curse of the beholder
-Love is a burden yet a bittersweet fluiid
-need not want more stitches up in my heart
-its what everyone's having. the warmth that radiates eventually wears off;it's all a lie
-i want someone to hold my hand; i do not want me,myself and i/him to break mine/his
-i'll have it in my dreams

what have you given up on?
-The reason to cry; waste of tears
-The reason to get angry; waste of my energy and life time
-The reason to worry; they don't bother
-The reason to love; these feelings,all temporary,so why bother wasting your time...

What haven't you gave up on?
-The Reason to smile ; its the only thing i can fake on. the only thing that can make them stop questioning my thoughts and looks

What has gave up on you and everything ?
-My Heart; my life supplement battery to all my functions has been deactivated permanently

왜?

2009-10-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

Every morning, it's a new surprise
don't know who I am before I roll the dice
is it one? no two, yet three to four.
that i do not know.

be my guest and take a guess
나의 손님 및 추측있으십시오

are you smart enough?
당신은 충분히 똑똑한가?
to judge my feelings and my actions
나의 감각 및 나의 활동을 재판하기 위하여

were you smart enough?
당신은 충분히 똑똑했는가?
to have chosen the path that abandoned once priceless memories and reasons
선택하기 위하여 한 번 아주 귀중한 기억 및 이유를 포기한 경로를

Were you right to question my thoughts and actions?
당신은 나의 생각 및 활동을 문제시하게 맞았는가?
ask yourself, do you have a heart that radiates that warmth.
, 당신 있다 그 온정을 발광하는 심혼이 요구하십시오.

The answer??
응답??
.
.
.
.
Think clearly hard and long
명확하게 열심히 그리고 오래 생각하십시오.
You knew the answer .
당신은 응답을 알고 있었다.

you were the fool
당신은 바보이었다

i was that broken tea cup
나는 그 부서지는 차잔이었다
while you were the overflowing mess
당신이 범람 혼잡의 동안

brittle and delicate, i was shattered
과민하고 그리고 민감하다, 나는 박살났다

i took the blame and got thrown away
나는 비난을 받고 멀리 던져 얻었다

while you just got swiped clean
당신이 지금 막 강타하는 청결한 얻는 동안

the options is the only thing that I decide
you see, I live for the moment now
I never did before, with all and everything I swept the floor
random I am, I never give a damn about what's gonna happen next
chiqs and cliques they left me and my job is just a memory
but that's the kind of price you've got to pay
if you're gonna go your own way
solving problems can be done in many ways
I don't care, I just roll the dice
It's o.k., cause I just have to pretend that I am someone else
Get rid of all the habits now that's the plan
come on and try it and you'll feel grand
the first step is the hardest step to take
imagination is the only brake
just roll the dice and everything will turn out nice
you can be who you wanna be
do what you wanna do and do it how you like
this is my way of getting through the day, but I still don't know
what's the next step to take.
My faltering heart. my obstructed emotions.

i use myself as an obstacle to get past through all the bad times.
i do not see things clearly but let them drift by.
the missing puzzle to my unknown statement,
were feelings that i had to push aside.

originally by,
Xiimo

희망?

2009-10-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

확대를 가진 다만 아이는 꿈꾼다 그러나 그 희망은
서류상 배 같이 침몰한다
xiimo 는 진실한 사랑을 찾아내기를 위해 이다.
미소를 지속하는 것

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You put this feelin inside of me that says you are the one and only person
I couldn't help myself but put it in words You are the sunshine in my life
All of my life I've been searching for that one And now that you've come to me
I don't have to run no more Chasin' all the boys while I'm hangin' with my crew
Now it's all about just me and my boo

떠나지 말라

As I look above,Thankful for your love
Two thirty you will be callin' me When I pick you up
We'll go to the park Ain't nothin better than being with you
I love you down in every way It doesn't matter everyday
From the bottom to the top have it your way

무
조
건
적
으
로

끝
없
는

박
동
♥

zone 더 밝은 미래로 보십시오

2009-10-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

더 밝은 미래로 보십시오♥
look towards a brighter future

thinking back of past years memories
remenescing in your own pool of thoughts
engulfing the loneliness that you would not share
-push them away.
As they flash by you, Let them go.
looking back would not do you any good
we were made with a heart
with various choices to choose
despite the mistakes, we were always given chances
to change for the better
and to smile to make our life brighter
no matter how many times we are pushed down
we will always strive to stand, never giving up on life
and always reaching for that light that warms you up
for that little happiness
that turn your frown upside down

you layed on the operation table
thinking over and over whats the benefit of life
Thinking what you did wrong,
what needed to be perfected,
didn't you?

wipe away those tears,
wash away the pain,
erase the darkness that surrounds you in your own abyss
share your loneliness
share your thoughts
i'll take your hand, i'll be here
even if you do not want me
i will be in your shadows watching over you
even if it was to make you smile or laugh just for a while
it would be the greatest memory imprinted in me

xiimo' s 자백

2009-10-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

Time is ticking,
Time is ticking,

away
away
away

I want to see your tears pour out,pour out without reason
No one knows inside your heart, The glass fragments are raging a storm
The wounds become a sickness, All doors become a wall,
Entrapping yourself , gulfing your frustration.
i have become an enemy in the mirror,

-doesn't it hurt?
- 그것은 아프는가?

i'll keep anyone from knowing about you
i'll leave the breath to tighten out
i would force you to choose the end

- aren't i bad?
-나는 나쁜가?

i would even take away all the reasons in this world for you to stand
Without the choice of the road back
I guess you would walk till the end
Your breath would probably end before my heart

wounds gaping .. openscars clearly seen .. tears endlessly flowing

When you cry.
though you try.
say goodbye.
-the time is ticking-
- 시간은 똑딱거리고 있다-

You are wandering through death,
i'll save you, take my hand
When you're walking in shadows,
panicking through the abyss
my breath does the same
When all the doors in the world close for me,
I'll support you till the very last drop of life.
you are my savior,

Your hand set the world on fire, You closed everyone's eyes
The suffering that was reflected in your eyes like stars become your city
Are your still dreaming, sleeping? Are you measuring all the tears you've shed?
Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn't it sad?
Maybe you wake up drenched in sweat at night, Is consciousness crawling on the floor?
Are you thinking it's the end, are you ok?
because I understand
I'm a scar on your broken body,
I'll erase the tears you've hidden away in your shattered marriage

even if you are hating me.
With all these wounds, scars and tear stained faces
you are still beautiful to me
당신은 저에게 아직도 아름답다

고생된 심혼의 자백
기억의 그것의 자신의 수영장에서 익사
과민했던, 그것은 개혁할 수 없습니다 박살냈다
주어지는 신선하게 상처를 입은 흉터에도 불구하고
당신의 증오심으로 조차 응시한다,xiimo' s 심혼은,
아직도 당신을 좋아한다 당신을 항상일 것이다
그녀의 유일한 없는 수수께끼 본다

XMii-Cso clan members picutre

2009-10-04T02:51:00.000-07:00

빈 포탄에 남아 있는 심혼♥

2009-10-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

그것이 우리 완성된ㄴ다는 것을 승인하십시오,
악몽 같이, 나는 그것 살았다,
그것은 묵살하기 에는 너무 컸다,
나는 기억을 본다 그러나 저를,
나의 위험 빛 번쩍이고 있다 곁에 통과한다,
누군가 누군가? 도움 이것이 비상사태이기 때문에 2개의 실연의 상자에 이야기
그것은 나쁜 수술 같이 이다.
빈 심혼의 포탄.
그것은 나의 감각을 후에 되찾는 시간 이다.
이렇게 나는 다시 넘어서 시작하고 있다.
1 의 2개의 아기 단계,
3 의 4개의 아기 단계,
5 의 6개의 아기 단계,

포기하는,
좋아 나는 울고 있다.
그것은 당신 같이 남겨두었다 사자를 위해 저를 이다

나는 아주 부서진다,
나의 사랑은 언다,
당신은 어떻게 후회에 사는가?

그것은 설명할 수 없다,
얻기 어려운의 종류,
당신이 사랑하는 사람 때,
사랑에 없다.

나는 아주 가엾게 느낀다,
고통은 나의 심혼에 다는 것을 당신이 알고 있을 나의 얼굴을 보십시오; 눈

나가 당신에게 했었던 무슨을을 위해 나는 복귀,
증오심의 샤워가 저에 당신 던지는 모두가 나에 의하여
다는 것을 짐작한다 당신 너자신에게서 모이는,
가족과 친구.
그것이 나에 의하여 가치가 있다.
그러나 나는 아무것도를 하지 않을 것입니다 나는
지금 막 조용히 있을 것입니다 증오심 응시 및 모욕을
영속하십시오 그리고 당신이 저로
당신의 생각에 순전히 매일 밤마다 나가 우는,
다만 가지고 있는 혐오를 침몰시키십시오
그러나 지금 나는 알고 있다.
당신은 결코 진짜로 저를 사랑했다.

나의 심혼 재건
진행중인
- 가공 실패한
- 너무 늦게

只依然是空的壳的心脏♥

2009-10-01T23:58:00.000-07:00

承认它，我们完成
所有您的心脏感觉现在是仇恨往我
象恶梦，我居住它.it太大的以至于不能忽略。
我看记忆反燃，但是他们通过我
我的危险光闪动
某人，任何人帮助….
因为这是紧急状态
对二伤心~
事例的故事
它是象一次坏手术
并且我不可能现在收复我的心脏
我再尝试
一，二婴孩步
三，四婴孩步
五六婴孩步

抛弃，呀我哭泣
它是象您留下我死者的
我是很残破的
我的爱结冰
我的心脏是壳

它是无法说明的，种类不能获得
如果您爱的人，不在爱

我感到很可怜
看我的面孔您然后将知道

痛苦在我的眼睛; 心脏

为什么我做了，我该当了您从你自己会集怨恨的阵雨，家庭，并且朋友，我不会采取行动。我会保持安静，享受哀痛并且吞噬仇恨淋浴对我。如此给曾经是我的兄弟，恋人，朋友的人，非常谢谢。由于您的行动，我现在知道。您从未真实地爱我。

重建我的心脏
-太后
-处理不合格

Puzzle

2009-09-21T04:51:00.000-07:00

something i scribbled on a piece of paper
i would like to share
PS: i translated it :).

where is it?

그것은 어디에 있는가?

that small happiness i was looking for

나가 찾고 있던 그 작은 행복

unfortunately,

유감스럽게도 ,

not even a fragment of love to be found

찾아낼 사랑의 파편 조차

that hidden red piece

그 숨겨지은 빨간 조각

why is it there?..

왜 그것이 거기 있는지?.

filling up the hole with this given time

이 주어진 시간으로 구멍 높은 쪽으로 채우기

the distance so far

이제까지는 거리

my vision a blur

나의 시각 흐림

grasping it and burying it again

그것을 장악하고 다시 매장하기

everytime you grow impatient

당신이 성급하게 성장할 때마다

the time limit nears

제한 시간은 접근한다

.....i can see the way.....

.....나는 방법을 볼 수 있다.....

the distance between us two is not enough

저희 사이 거리는 2 이젠 그만이 아니다

-i love you-

- 사랑해요 -

bury these words

이 낱말을 매장하십시오

from here on our world grows countlessly

여기에서 위에 우리의 세계에서 countlessly 성장한다

voices overlapping and now

부분적으로 덮는 음성 및 지금

illuminating our paths, one day it will echo

우리의 경로를 조명해서, 1 일 그것은 반향할 것이다

loudly resonating our answers

시끄럽게 우리 응답 공진

where is it?..

그것이 있는 곳에?..

that fragment that dissappeared without reason that day

일 이유 없이 사라진 그 파편

unfortunately,

유감스럽게도,

all that is left

모든 남겨두는

is this newly made

새로 한 이것은 이다

P U Z Z L E

수

께

끼

♥

originally written by,

원래 곁에 쓰는,

kiim sung-hye

노래되♥

.aka.

x i i m o☻

我的心脏

2009-09-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

它是否是放弃一切确定的某人和爱的价值？
否,需要有些时间发现您完善某人
在那个某一期间
他们伤害了您
或者另一个方式
留下以罪状或单独您成交
并且有时，当您设法忘记
它使您记住更多
我的心脏
那曾经是明亮红色和健康的
现在负担一个孔
那无法愈合
永久地损坏耕种时期的结尾
然而,
我在微笑将继续涂灰泥
我不会让任何人看我哭泣
我不是微弱的，两者都不是我强
想要通过与战略的生活生存的人

我抱歉，但是我的中国人不是好我如此希望您能涉及它

친구

2009-09-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

Friiends나의 생활

오늘 처음을 내일
표를 한다 끝을 표를 한다
어딘가에 중앙에서
우리는 친구의 베스트가 되었다
당신이 이제까지 어깨를 필요로 하는 경우에,
당신이 이제까지 친구를 필요로 하는 경우에,
알게 다만 당신이 하기 위하여,
i' ll는 맨 끝까지 당신을 위해 나가 1명의 친구에게 남겨두어 달라고 한 경우에,
i' 여기 있다는 그것을 당신 같이 누군가 다만인 원한다

나는 나가 이제까지 아픈 것이 친구에게 지금 막에 사과한다 좋아할 것입니다. 몇몇은 용서되는 것을 허용될지도 모르지만,
그러나 더 나은 것을 위해 나는 변화한다.
유감스러운 im 나의 사랑스러운 친구.
그들은 나의 고향에서 역행시킨다 .....
나가 당신을 놓치는.
Don' t 당신?

느낌은 이렇게 파견했다

2009-09-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Xiimo는

느낀다 순간 당신은 나의 손을 이끌었다 나의 심혼은 아주 온난하게 느꼈다 당신은 나가 어딘가에 속했는 처럼 저를 느낀 that' s 왜
there' 당신 사이에서 결코 변화하지
않을 s 하나 것과 감각 나인 저는 당신을 위해
가지고 있다 나는 you♥

를 사랑한다 나는 기다릴 것이다 언제든지 비록 그것 어디든지

- 영원히-

자서전 강선전도

2009-09-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

비록 그것의 안으로 나의 마음만 비록
i can' t 접촉 당신 비록 그것 무의미한 꿈만 비록
i can' 당신에게 t 대화 비록 나가 아주 저쪽에에서 숨기고 보더라도 - 당신은 나가 알고 있다 아직도, 사랑해요 비록 당신 don' t는 나가 누구인지 알고 있다 아기 don' 당신이 알고 있는
당신 don' t는 조차 나의 이름을 알고 있다 나는 당신을 지켜보는 나의 불면증 밤을 보낸다 이렇게 아름다운, 나의 손에서 꼭잡히는 당신의 솔로 그림 세계의 환호에서 매장되는 나의 미친 사랑의 비탄 조차 듣는
Youre, 당신은 나가 죽는지 모를 것입니다 조차 당신의 다음 생활에
조차 당신은 나가 누구인지 알고 있기 없이 살 것이다 나는 당신을 악과 그것의 너무 늦은 후에 도는 이렇게 원한다 오늘 밤 나 조차 당신을 키스하고 싶다 이렇게 나가 나의 베개를 단단히 꼭잡는 오늘 우리의 첫 만남은 맞은가? 단지 당신은 대화의 이 종류가 있다 또 다시 오늘 나는 당신의 퇴각 숫자에 말한다 그것 항상 동일한 것 그러나 아직도 나는 신경 여보세요를 준다 비록 전체적인 세계가 듣더라도 중지하더라도, 나는 단지 당신만 저가 들리는 필요로 한다 당신이 저를 나의 심혼이라고 강하게 한 되고 더 이면, 만족시킨다 경청한다 멀리, 그리고 멀리, 운은 어디든지 작동한다 나는 당신을 볼 수 있을 것인가? - 만약에 조차 i can'인 경우에; t에는 당신이 있다 비록 그것 무의미한 꿈만 비록 나가 아주 저쪽에에서 숨기고 보더라도 비록 당신 don' t는 나가 누구인지 알고 있다 당신, 당신은 왜 오늘 미소하고 있지 않는가? 큰 문제가 아닌 경우에는 좋을 나는 불안으로 채워진 당신의 얼굴을 볼 수 없었다 나가 고통에서 인 경우에 그러나 그것의 불가능성이 후회를 가져오면 더 나을 저를 의 안녕하세요?의 당신의 질문에 반응할 수 있던 사람 붙드십시오 근접하여 오는, 할 수 있다 기우십시오 접촉,
youre 것 파악이 나에 의하여 기운다 가기 위하여 가는
Im 대회 나의 꿈에서 당신 오늘 밤 비록 나의 꿈에서 모두가 나의 사랑을 비웃더라도 나는 미치다는 것을 비록 모두가 밝히더라도 전세계는 사라진다 아기 당신, 그러나 쓸모 없는 군중은 왜 저에 말하고 있는가 당신을 멀리 속하는가? 아니오, 아무 방법도 없다. 악은 당신에 단지 저를 본 악은 당신에게 모두를 준다, 악은 당신의 입술 대회 광산을 만든다, 악은 얻고 세계를 당신 준다 간다 악은 그것을 만든다 그래서 당신은 나의
sunken 심혼에서 당신 저를 의 아픈 보유 결코 남겨둘 수 있지 않는다 당신은 나의 별이다 당신은 나의 세계이다 당신은 세계에 있는 나의 욕망을 만족시키는 유일한 사람이다 이 것을 바쳐서 나는 썼다 거기 밖으로 모든 실연에

♥ 절기의 해체 메이크업

autobiographical twist ♥

2009-09-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

Xiiimo♥

Even if its only in my mind

even if i can't touch you

Even if its only a meaningless dream

even if i can't talk to you

Even if i hide and watch from far away

-you know i do

still, I love you

even if you don't know who i am

baby don't you know, you don't even know my name

I spend my sleepless nights gazing at you

so beautiful, your solo picture clutched in my hand

The heartbreak of my crazy love buried in the cheers of the world

Youre not even listening, you wouldnt even know if i died

Even in your next life you will live without knowing who i am

I want you so bad and its too late to turn back

Even tonight i want to kiss you so i clutch my pillow tight

Today is our first meeting right?

Only you have this sort of dialogue

Again today i talk to your retreating figure

Its always the same thing but still i give a nervous hello

Even though the whole worlds stops listening, i only need you to hear me

The further you are the hardened my heart becomes, please listen to me

Farther, and farther, fortune works wherever

Will i be able to see you?

-even if i can't have you

Even if its only a meaningless dream

Even if i hide and watch from far away

even if you don't know who i am

Darling, why are you not smiling today?

It would be nice if it was not a big problem

I couldnt look at your face filled with anxiety

It would be better if i was in pain but the impossibility of that brings regret

Hold me, the one who could respond to your question of how are you?

Cant come close, can;t touch, youre the one i cant hold

Im going to go meet you tonight in my dreams

Even if in my dreams everyone ridicules my love

Even though everyone says i am crazy and the entire world disappears

Babe you belong to me, but why are the worthless multitudes talking you away?

No, there is no way. ill make you see only me

ill give you everything, ill make your lips meet mine, ill go get the world and give it to you

Ill make it so you can never leave me, ill keep you in my sunken heart

You are my star

you are my world

you are the only one who satisfies my desires in the world

dedicating this thing i wrote

To all the broken hearts out there

♥

Season of

BreakUp

MakeUp

confiide{♥}

2009-09-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

A STORY♥

What can i say. How can i tell them. Should i?No.It would only be a heartbreaker to them all.I think its just best to let the chips fall as they may.Despite her critical condition and her soon to be fate thats making her weaker day by day, Eye vision blurring,Breathing difficulties and constant Faintings "are you ok",everytime this was asked, she smiles a smile that tells you everythings going to be alright, but behind that smile, everyone can tell that its a lie and she isn't at all well.Apart from that her family has difficulties, she gets daily beatings from her dad for protecting her mum and her little sister.in my life. there are only these few things that makes me smile and reject the pain i feel ; my friends,My sister and my bestFriend Ethan

i must stay strong. i must enjoy myself even if its for the next 3 months. i just couldn't let everyone worry. seeing their smiles just brightens up my day. She pulls up her sleeves and traces the scars and bruises with one slim finger.Mum and dad doesn't know about my sickness and critical condition. Yet i can't just let dad abuse mum like that. I love both of them, but why can't they just grow up. Her smile fading into a slight frown. She sat near her bedroom window, tracing her scars and bruises as she had nothing to do, flashback went in and out of her mind. Tears flowing down her cheeks. Then it started drizzling and later it poured heavily.How i wish i was always under the rain. Then i could smile and cry at the same time.Smiles and wipes away the flowing tears. Suddenly her head started pulsing and her vision blurred on and on. She winced in pain.She sat there, Her hands over her head in the corner of her room. inhaling and exhaling to slow down her pulse rate. Why me?

Destiny chose my fate?

!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!

"Leahh, im-ma home fo-rum schewl"
She smiles brightly and ignores the pain and sweeps her little sister off her feet and hugged her.They both laughed. My little sister, One Of the reasons why i have the urge to keep living, For her.She has some trouble pronouncing but she's improving day by day. And she's only five years old.So dear to me yet she's getting harder and harder to grasp. I hugged her close by and smiled and said,"forever with you little Lean,Sissy won't go anywhere from your side".
Lean pushed me away gently and gave me a look saying that You wont go Anywhere right?
Leah shook her head and mouthed the words silently, N.E.V.E.R
then She took her little sister to the park, sat and had an ice-cream cone. They both smiled. I would do anything to keep that smile on your face Lean. I'm sorry.

"hey Lean, sissy wants to give you something now put out your hand"
Lean did as she was told and a silver heart shaped key on a silver necklace was placed in the palm of her small hands
"Remember the birthday present i gave to you Last week?Open it using this key when i'm not around"
"wohkay sissy"Confused little Lean mumbles and fumbles with the pretty silver key.
Leah took the necklace and tied it on Lean's neck, smiles and plants a kiss on Lean's forehead.
"thankiiew sissy, puh-retty".Lean smiles showing a row of shiny small teeth
Keep smiling my little girl.just keep smiling.The smile that gives someone their heartbeat back
by the time they reached home. it was half past nine. She tucked Lean up in bed. and kissed her goodnight after saying their prayers.

!♥!♥!♥!♥!♥!

1 1/2 months later

Leah sat at the park. Alongside with her Bestfriend,Ethan.
its been two months now, everything is the same, the beatings the screams the arguements the scars the bruises..my condition which was rapidly increasing in critical state.Breathes in and Sighs.
My heart is taking more than it can take.i ignored all the pain, the side effects but my smile gotten bigger and bigger.Remember in everyone's life there is always a friend? well yeahs.In mine his name was Ethan.He was my bestfriend.My brother.My everything. He was always there for me. in times of need . wherever and whenever. He glanced over and pulled her face up that it was face to face.
"whats wrong babe?" Ethan asked with a worried look.
"nothing's up Ethan why'd you ask?" Leah smiled .
"you know what up. Don't tell me nothing's up. Because behind every little lie. Lies the truth. Ain't i right?Whatever it is. Don't be afraid to tell me okay?You know i'll always be there for you even if its till the last minute"Ethan said with a faint smile.
Till the last minute.sounds like a word that's so close by. that's going to happen so soon. Nahh..
leah shook her head. I shouldn't think of such silly thoughts.
"thanks Ethan" Leah returned his answer with a grateful smile
She laid his head on his shoulder and both, they watched the blue sky together. The birds soaring freely.

Ethan and Lean. there were the only ones that has been managing my heart together in one piece. but sooner or later, with or without their strength, that very life pulse of my heart will stop soon.i looked at him. i always loved him. as my brother , as my bestfriend, even more
Ethan stares back:she's everything to me, my sister my bestfriend, even more.
together in the same thoughts they both said:but im afraid it'll just ruin our relationship

i want to be free like those birds.Leah raised her hands and pointed at the sky and the birds. Ethan knew what she meant. He took her hand and he mouthed T.O.G.E.T.H.E.R we will.
This feeling. Its not a bird, not a plane, its my heart and its going and gone away. my only weakness is You. My only Reason You. You and her♥ changed my life even if it its not going to last that long. It's definitely worth living through it ....
till the last minute♥

Leah just had so much to tell. Her heart wanting to scream it out. Wanted to share her pain with someone. wanted someone to understand. Pass on her memories.. But not bearing to hurt others than to hurt her. she kept quiet.engulfing today and the day to come's pain.

Inside her HEARTS♥
silently screaming
help me

this distraction, this love she has for him and her is what helped her endures the pain from time to time. The reason she only smiles : )

♥

"leeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"Lean screamed. Her heart pounding ,startled she got off her bed and rushed toward her sisters screams. When she reached she halted at her little sister's doorway and saw her face as white as a sheet while Lean stood there looking out the window crying, pointing."m-muh-muhhmy". It was 2 am in the morning and it was still dark.
Through the window, Leah saw her mum screaming,crying while on the other hand. her Dad. Back home drunk as usual thoughtlessly Beating her mum. Leah stammered and whispered,"Leannie baby, do what sissy tells you to and go to you room. take Teddy here with you and lock the door close your ears and think happy stuffs ok?"Whispers Leah then she quickly reached in her pocket and took out her cell phone"whatever happens Call Mattie ok?"she smiled plants a kiss on her forehead and ran out of the house towards the inseperable Mishaps that were fighting. *heavy breathing* i'm not sure whether i can stand this fight for tonight. My heart. i Pray please don't fail me.-its already been 2 months and 29 days . Leah pushed her dad back and hug her mum close by Taking in all the beatings. She didn't cry. She didn't smile. She just laid there stoned, "mummy get in the house now. Go" Leah smiled and ushured her mum in.
I turned and looked at my dad. i was thinking, my dad? the one that always led us a happy life; his smile,the smile that kept this family together where has it gone? where is my dad. What happened. Lost in thoughts. NO! he is now Thoughtless, inhuman doesn't have a heart . Today i lost you,daddy."WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? what happened daddy? wait. No, you were never my father ever since u lost your smile. " Growled leah. "my oh my, daddy's little girl. Have you forgotten me? Bruises and scars are my way of showing love to you all" sneers her dad. "Don't call me your little girl you are inhuman. i lost y- no, You lost us. Now get lost, your face doesn't only bring shame to our family, THIS family, we have suffered enough, MUM HAS, what about leannie? She's still small, why can't you and mum let her experience the Fun and happiness that i had when i was at this age? WHY ARE YOU SO THOUGHTLESS.my dad once made us feel special. now he only made us feel unworthy and useless.i fucking hate you DAD. "Leah Spat back.
Leah turned her back on him. Furios and burning with rage , Leah's dad fumbled along the grass looking for a certain object. Then he grabs a nearby bat , raised it.......

''SISSY NO!!''screamed lean with tears flowing continuosly down her cheeks. stained with dry ones. wet with fresh tears.
i turned around to see my dad raising the stick, turned back to the window where lean was crying and saying no, no , no i just smiled and shook my head, mouthed out Forever with you.N.E.V.E.R leaving you.

Leah's dad raised the bat and Heaved it down and started pummeling Leah up furious with the rage burning up in his heart. Furious with the words that started igniting his fire and hate. Leah fought back the pain. As the dad brought the bat back up, ready to strike one last time on leah , She closed her eyes.

i can't move, i'm numb all over. the pain's eating up my heart. it's failing me soon. im sorry lean just remember this, sissy will always be with you, don't forget the key, what i told you . remember to pass on my words to mattie . She smiled.

The Father brought down the bat
i'm ready. she held her breath. but she felt nothing
She opened her eyes to see Matt holding back the bat fending her. a minute later after his arrival. the police force came by. arresting Leah's Dad for child abuse.

i opened my eyes. i was smiling, but my face was wet. Why?i couldn't move. I gathered up the strength and whisphered out,"Thank you Matt".
"don't fail me now Leah. Why were you such an idiot?why did you keep me out of this? stay with me ok?"Tears flowing down his cheeks.
i was smiling. he was so cute. i love him so much. My vision started blurring
"i-lurve y-ou Mattie,take c-care of leanne for me.Love her like you loved me" i blurred the words out. "now don't you go saying that now, stay with me please, i need you, Lean needs you."
i passed out with a smile on my face.
the last words i heard was.
"my heart,i give to you"

AT THE HOSPITAL
it was all a blur as i flickered my eyes. white lights, white people, people rushing , wires, tubes pulses doctors. no, i can't die yet. not now. not today, i panicked and my pulse rate increased rapidly."Doctor,Her pulse rates gone up, should we?"no, NO!. LEAN i mouthed Where's LEAN i tried to scream but oni a hoarse voice came out. i started crying. she's alone out there. no, Mattie's with her. Wait for me lil sister. sissy's not gonna leave you. With that Leah closed her eyes as the doctors injected the sleep serum into her veins.

****
"is sissy going to be alright?"lean asked mattie with her tear stained face."she's going to be just all right you know your sister, she's strong, Strong alright and now," he said as he brushed Lean's Tears away,"Leah wouldn't be too happy seeing you cry now won't she?" Leah Brushed herself up and sniffled"Yeah" and forced a smile.
****
5hours later
****
a doctor came out to tell them the news. Matt was worried and Heartbroken by Leah's Condition when he got there. he knew the news they were going to give won't be so pleasant. The doctor shook his head kept quiet telling matt that she won't stand longer than 15 minutes as she had suffered heart failures and other critical conditions which weren't able to be recovered and lead them both to the surgery room where she was removed and placed her on a bed. Matt heard all this at one go. His heart nearly skipping a beat. his fist tightened with a total heartbreaker , and furious with rage thinking why of all people the target had to be LEAH.

****
entering the room
****
as the doctor lead them in to the room. mattie and Lean came in hand in hand. The doctor with great grief sighed and closed the door behind them. Leaving those three to have their last conversation together. They both stood there looking at Leah. Nearly looking as half as dead. pale. weak and lifeless . But they still saw her smile and her hands, weak but gesturing them to come forward.

LEAH
i saw them, they were shock as they took in the news. i know this was bad. i didn't want this. i smiled and we shared our last conversation together

Matt
i saw her, she looked pale and lifeless, but yet so gracefully pretty she still forces a smile. why of all people she was the target. i don't want this.

Leah told Lean that everything is going to be alright. That from today onwards leah will always be right next to her, to her heart, watching over her embracing her loving her everysingle day till the time comes when they can unite again. Leah brought her hand up brushing away lean's tears shook her head telling her not to cry, but to carry on smiling that pushes everyone's worries away and remember what Leah had told her . Lean nodded, hugging her teddy close by and forced a smile. Lean leaned in and planted the last kiss she will ever give to her sister on her cheeks, hugged her and whisphered in leah's ear,"you promised,N.E.V.E.R" and they pinky promised the last time. They both smiled. Leah mouthed -i love you-

As it was Matts turn to talk with Leah. He Hunged his head down. not wanting to look at leah. it hurt him so much. Leah held his hand and said sorry that she couldn't tell him. she couldn't bear seeing him or lean hurt. She didn't want them to see this coming. Leah told matt. To take care of lean for her. love Lean like he Loved her, telling Matt that she loved him and forever will be with him till the end. He held her hands. saying nothing. Laid his face near hers , warm tears streaming down his cheeks. Alongside, Leah cried too.
*beep* Beep* - -*Beep*Beep*- -*beep* Beep* - -*Beep*Beep*-
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppp*
She closed her eyes. and mouthed i love you. as the last beep went off for the heart rate machine.
Matt's fist Tightened. He shook her saying don't leave her. He was upset. His Heart as heavy as an anchor. but he remembered Leah's words. He forced a smile and answered back. Forever will i love you too.

Leah

i closed my eyes.
and count one heart.two people. three words.
i love you
♥

THE LAST CHAPTER

Matt

its been three months now.
i still feel her with me. but its been so long since she's been gone. i miss her. he smiled. he reached into his denim jeans pocket and pulled out an envelope directed to

Matt from Leah

as instructed by lean's letter.

he reached for the seal, halt. its too painful to read. she's gone, yet i must read what her heart once written for me. He opened the envelope containing words written from sarah.

To Matt♥
my friend
my bestfriend
my brother
my lover.
by the time you received this letter,
i will be gone somewhere far,
but forever near your heart
i am sorry that i didn't tell you about my condition before
it was just because i didn't want you to get all worked up,
worried and upset.
you were always there for me
through thick and thin.
you were always there lending me an ear.
there was always a shoulder to cry on
and most of all
a hand to hold
u filled my heart up
you and lean were the reason why i lived for another three months
the reason which kept my heart pumping
but sooner or later.
my heart will fail me.
incase i don't tell you this on time.
i just want to let you know
i fell in love with you
the moment we were friends
you were my missing piece
i love you
my love,
my heart, i give to you
Forever with you.
need not shed tears my love.
smile for me
i'm sorry.

Please take care of Lean for me.
and one more thing. i left something for you.
Still remember that secret garden we would always hang around when our moods are down?
look inside the one of the tree trunks. : )

goodbye matt
not forever.
♥

Love,
Leah

a tear trickled down his cheeks. he smiled and laughed. "leah, silly girl, i miss you already.i will take care of Lean i can promise you that." He brushed his tears away and smiled. i love you too.
He then remembered what Leah said. that she had something for him. He went to the secret garden.

He laughed. I remember this place. so many memories, so much happy moments. Me and leah would always come by here and share our secrets, our moments its like our sanctuary. He went in and started scavenging through the tree trunks. In one of them, he caught hold of a small heavy metal box. he pulled it out. He sat down on the fresh green grass. tracing the patterns engraved on the box till he came to the engravement below the box with the letter M♥L.
he opened the silver box inside containing a necklace and some photos. He held it up and stared at it,finding it had a picture of him and leah together. he smiles. he put it on and looked again. wasn't this our childhood pictures. she still kept them. hahaha i remembered this one when we smeared ice cream in each others faces, the other one where we sat down near the sea during summer and watched the sunset. it all seems like its flying by filling me back with happy memories.
he turned the picture around. to see leah's handwritten words.

LEAH♥

Smile with these happy memories
never forget them.
The necklace
in our world.
there is our happy place.
Smile for me my boy
i love you

Matt♥
For you
my smile shall never fade
for you
my laughter shall never die
For you
my love will be endless
For you
my heart i give.

♥THE END

cso.

2009-09-17T01:57:00.000-07:00

XMii-Kiimo
3 Diamond

Quiit..
3 flower

biiterswhweiit holidays

2009-09-17T01:37:00.000-07:00

could life get any more bitter?
or sweeter than the thick red liquid
that runs through the veins in our body

no idea

its the holidays
a.k.a
Selamat hari raya.
one frigging week
Swwwwwwwwwwwwwww---eeeett :D
but yet so bitter

after the holidays its about,
due to my estimation
im guessing about,
10 days till pmr?
oh my f8cking god!
*faints*

kinda stressed
mind's in between
Gaming, Relationship and Studies
folak folakkk!!!

Brandy {x}

2009-09-17T01:31:00.000-07:00

FUCK YOU BRANDY.
you said wanted to borrow Sim.
Then i have no frigging idea why you want to my life any harder
and u went through my stuffs?
WHAT THE
!@#$%^

he call just answer.
Don't let them accuse me
Scare what scare la!
i know your trying to make things better
thanks, but no thanks
but just don't.
your still too YOUNG to understand.

one moment

2009-09-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

i can't let go
i see you no matter where i look
my crumbling heart
i can't hide
baby, for one minute, one second
i can't let go
i hear your voice no matter where i go
my broken heart
i can't breathe
baby, for one minute, one second
my aching heart
longing for you

you said you were having a bad hair day
you said your eye were puffy, and fell back asleep
sulking, i silently took of my jacket
picked up the phone and ordered take out
closed the curtain, without knowing how many hours passed
watching dvd's
just you and me
the sound of your breath as you leaned on my shoulder
i thought it was a good thing we didn't go out

Ridiculously these thoughts still torment me
i unexpectedly remembered the jokes that made you made and i fall apart
moments that are really no big deal upsets me
i remember the faces that you use to make and i break apart

no matter where you went
at the right bar at the corner
when you sat in your little corner
when you were tired and yawned
you kept the tears that you wiped away
and you would smile like an idiot
showing the dimples in your cheeks
whenever you drank water
your full lips, i hoped it would be forever

This is lov to the e
this autobiographical memory twist in my heart
Flips me upside down, with never ending tears
see love can shake a hurricane
the raindrops that blow against my feelings, one drop
The little m-e-m-o-r-i-e-s
like how this glass of alcohol become empty
our small memories became transparent
and i try to bring it back
the memories of us i can never make it again
like yesterday's night dream its so clear, but its gone
Damn

even if time stops, my heart still continue to beat
i can't let go
the whispers that takes my breath away
for one moment
our sweet secrets
for us who are sad as our love was beautiful
can my tears and smile still remember you?
our quirks and our habits
for one moment that beautiful moment
we can't turn back

억울해요

고독한 발렌타인

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고독한 발렌타인

고독한 발렌타인

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Daniiel Phua [RIP]

keong di di arkk :(!! Brandyy.. haiz mizz u..

原谅我

我们相爱就是幸福♥

说实话，我真的不能让你走.

不过我希望你在你新的生活里能开心 就算我做了什么事情,

我也只爱你

天天都爱你 就算非常困难我也要慢慢放开你

只要让你知道.就这样

아무도는 이해한다

as i walked on home...

was whipsering your name. and i was smiling so hard..

damn..:)

silly me..

regrets and unforgotten moments?..

'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you

- Always

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my heart telling me that " I MISS YOU "......

i dont know where i stand with you i dont know what i mean to you all i know is everytime i look at you, think of you all i wanna do is be with you ...

xiimo는 배고프다!!!

MCFluriie를 원한다 ♥

☺

13.01.2010

xiimo's conclusion came to an end

you thiink u guys can go around playiing jokes like that?. Ahhh iit Aint FUNNY!. i'll F-ing Screw u guys up. its not Funny to joke around when someone is/ isn't Dead!.

저를 용서하고십시오, 사랑하십시오

♥

2 thiings i can't have

ii'm screwed..

忘不了你

вяoҝεή☠iήsρiiяa†iion

@@

什么是爱？？！

爱？

2.0.1.0

dark confessions

☺

just a little longer, stay

what can i do to make you stay? what can i give to you to make you mine once again? i'll take the moon and grab the stars and place them in your pocket. so everytime u want to make a wish just take them out and think of me.

깊어가

선곡표

我们相爱就是幸福

cso tour 22.11.09 photos

??

xiimo's 마지막.

m a z e 미로 . .

부서지는 미소

i miss u ...

왜?

희망?

zone 더 밝은 미래로 보십시오

xiimo' s 자백

XMii-Cso clan members picutre

빈 포탄에 남아 있는 심혼♥

只依然是空的壳的心脏♥

Puzzle

我的心脏

친구

느낌은 이렇게 파견했다

자서전 강선전도

autobiographical twist ♥

confiide{♥}

cso.

biiterswhweiit holidays

Brandy {x}

one moment

不过我希望你在你新的生活里能开心就算我做了什么事情,

天天都爱你就算非常困难我也要慢慢放开你